• Awkward All-stars

    Red-Faced and Radiant:
    this primate judges your pallor
    and finds you unworthy

    Amazonian Cacajao by Aaron Martin
    Red Uakari by Kevin O'Connell
    so color. much charisma.
    photo by Kevin O’Connell (CC BY 2.0)

    If the uakari (wah-KAHR-ee) of the Amazon river basin were human, you’d hesitate to swipe right.  Both sexes come with a seriously receding hairline and a body type best described as “frumpy muppet.”  To top it off, their faces are…. Red.  Really, really red.

    They look like a Minnesota frat boy on his third day in Cancun. And they don’t care what you think of them.

    Among the four sub-species of bald uakari, that sun-broiled complexion isn’t a sign someone forgot their sunscreen – it’s an honest signal to others that you are a sexy monkey.

    That’s because the color of an individual’s face is actually a direct window into their health.